Dear E. Jean: What would you say if I told you that the man I love is bankrupt? What if I told you that his bankruptcy was due to professional incompetence, that he has no signs of income, and that he cheated on me for six months ’till I took him to a therapist and made him stop? E. Jean, what would you say if I told you this same guy can be loving, good in bed, and excellent at household chores, and that I’ve asked him to move in with me?
I make plenty of money for two (I’m in the one percent), but I have three kids to put through college. Am I being stupid about letting him move in? Or just petty about money?
Beware, Mother! You’re turning into a dreaded Dude Philanthropist. This is a benevolent profession chock-full of ladies who have a genius for charity and a letch for losers. Show a Dude Philanthropist an attractive asshole who’s half-good in bed and who unloads the dishwasher once a month, and she will open her house, her heart, her legs, and her bank accounts.
Auntie Eeee has no truck with Dude-Gooders. Even if you sent this gent to a convent to help with “the household chores,” Auntie would tell the nuns to run for their lives. He’s a cheat, a liar, and a fuckup who will waste your time, take your money, bed other women, and mangle your children’s idea of right and wrong. Get rid of him.
This letter is from the Ask E. Jean Archive, 1993-2017. Send questions to E. Jean at E.Jean@AskEJean.com.